Advice Letter Health

Question : I want to go out with my friends to a dinner and movie down on Orchard. My parents say, “no way!” How can I convince them I’m not a baby anymore? - Jenny Deb Worth

Jenny, it’s natural to get in fights with your parents like that. A lot of people want to hang out with friends more than family. As you grow up, you make your own choices and have your own way of doing stuff. At those times, it’s important to remember that your parents are used to helping you to make decisions for you, that they do want the best for you, and they care about your happiness and safety. Screaming or crying won’t help in such situation. When I had those problems, I just cried and screamed. Looking back it’s pretty embarrassing, and if I had a another chance I would never make that same mistake. So it’s important to keep calm so you don’t make the same mistake I made. I am here to help you so don’t worry, here are some tips to help convince your parents.

One of the most useful tips I can give you is talking. I know it’s really boring to talk about your day since you have so much going on, but if you talk to them they’ll know more about your lifestyle and what's going on. When those events come up, they’ll know how important they are for you because you have already mentioned them as significant parts of your daily life . Even if it’s awkward at first, if you keep on doing it, it will become normal like a banal thing. If you’re doing this but still feel a bit weird, here are some tips: It helps when you can go on fluently with no cuts from your parents. So before you start, tell them that you will appreciate if they don’t interrupt but just listen first. Jot all your notes down so you know what you want to say and seem like you know what you’re doing instead of stammering to remember, and have a direct eye contact to make it serious instead of looking at the ceiling because it shows that you are nervous. Use your mature voice instead of whining sound because it seems to get on their nerves if you use that whining voice. It’s hard to convince adults but I know that backups can never go wrong. Invite your siblings or anyone who had the same experience when talking. Your sibling is the best since it’s obvious that they went through the same thing too. They can really help you convince your parents.

I know it gets annoying when you want to wrap it up with the deal you want, but so does your parents. So they tend to say "but" and add on. Just agree with it though. You should make it equally fair between you and your parents then walk off. It’s better then a “you can’t go.” Also, you should take back feedback such as a curfew or guidance. Make promises like doing house chores, taking care of your younger siblings, doing your homework, handling your studies well, or doing well in tests to show that you are responsible enough to take care of your own life. Let them have what they want to hear. Also, when I say take in deals and feedback I don’t mean negatives with grudges. I mean positive new start. Unless you want your parents to get sour on things.

When it’s your first time, they tend to have the lack of trust, so it’s important for you to prove them wrong by showing them evidence. My tip is to take photos or give calls. If they see you are actually doing what you promised, they will be relieved and it will be easier to convince your parents next time. You can take pictures of where you are at that moment and send it to them or even with yourself in it to prove yourself more. Or you could give them a call. In this way, you can strengthen your trust with your parents but also have fun.

These are some of my strong tips from my own experience and research. I hope I could help you hanging out with your friends while still having a peaceful relationship with your parents. Remember even if it didn’t work out there's always next time, maintaining a healthy relationship with everyone in your life is better than maintaining a good relationship with one while neglecting another. Plus, if you’re in middle school you know that hanging out thing just saved you time to do your homework you delayed for weeks. If not YAYYYY! We succeeded! You go have a good time, and enjoy while you have it. By the way while hanging at Orchard, watching a movie, make sure you get some Starbucks coffee. You’ll need it to keep up with your friends. :P

Sincerely,

Your parent talk hero Laura

Sources

Teen Health

Web MD

Sutter Health